I recently read a great post by Illuminutti about psychic predictions for 2012 here. It demonstrated that almost all of the predictions made by so-called psychics failed. So, I’ve decided to come out of the closet here: I am a psychic. Not only that, I am probably the greatest psychic that has ever lived, since being a so-called psychic involves making predictions that come true on rare occasion. I think I can do better than that. So, I’ve decided to make ten predictions for 2013.
Before we start, I have to mention that my psychic senses tell me that 2013 is going to be a very unlucky year. I will scientifically break this down. “13” is an unlucky number, and it is preceded by 20, which would of course mean multiplied by 20. So, 2013 will be twenty times unluckier than the number 13. Beware!
1) A new breakthrough in space travel or space science in general will happen. And, no, I’m not basing this on my knowledge of SpaceX’s plans for the near future. Don’t be so skeptical.
2) The number of global mobile phones will come close to, or surpass the global population. And, no, I didn’t read that in a newspaper article. This information came from my secret psychic source: some call it heaven, some call it God, but NOBODY calls it a simple internet search!
3) A terrible man-made or natural calamity will strike Eastern Asia. And, no, this is not too general of a statement. This is how the science of psychic knowledge works.
4) A scandal will happen in the American government which will make Americans wonder if they can trust their elected representatives. And, no, this is not a relatively common scenario. It doesn’t happen every day does it? You know what, you’re being too cynical. I’m not going to comment anymore, I’m just going to give my predictions!
5) Medicine will make a breakthrough that helps many people.
6) A famous celebrity will be photographed nude or partially nude.
7) A person will claim that they have evidence of a miracle and many people will flock to see this miracle.
8) A rock or rap star will make a song that becomes a huge hit, but then that rocker or rapper will never produce another hit song.
9) A very famous person will die.
10) Snookie, from Jersey Shore, will contract herpes. Ok, ok, I know that’s an obvious one.
Let’s see how well I do. Anyway, I made these predictions with my cell phone nearby, and so, if any are wrong, it’s because the invisible waves from my cell phone obviously interrupted my psychic ability.